The Bible defines the family as an institution of God lying at the foundation of all human society. It is monogamous in nature, where similar personality traits, virtues, religious faith, habits and idiosyncrasies are shared through many generations. It has been aptly expressed that families are the primary agents for perpetuating, social class, life-styles, values, nationality, and racial distinctions, and concomitant cultural histories (McAdoo, 1993).
There has been a drastic breakdown in the family structure which weakens the existence of a “Typical American Family”. The profile of a “typical family” is a mother, father, and children living together under one roof. Due to the trend in delayed marriages and childbearing we can not continue to rely on the myth of the typical family and it is one of the reasons why this nation has grown morally weak.
New figures in 1996 from the Census Department reveals that nearly 29 percent of all households are occupied by married couples without children at home; 25 percent are married couples with children 18 or under at home; 25 percent are people living alone; and less than 10 percent of every other combination. Just 44 percent of households are with two-parent family with children. In a 1970, a high proportion of one-parent households were characterized by Puerto Ricans and Afro-Americans, typically headed by females. It’s not the shape of a family that’s important, but how people strive together to make it work.
As America change, we are forced to live in a “parental disengaged” society. Research by Lawrence Steinberg shows that 25 to 30 percent of parents appear to be disengaged in their children’s lives. Many will say that the problems with this society and the lost family values are told rest in our abandoning the sacred institution of the patriarchal family with daddy firmly entrenched at its head. But other will say women are mostly to blame. Women failing to keep to our appointed place and offer alternatives, not repressive to family values. Malcolm X stated, “a nation is only as strong as its women.” Maybe, if the old-fashioned family values were in place, there would be mandatory school prayer, no homosexuality, no sex outside of marriage, no single mothers others than widows, and no need for sex education, much less than condom distribution, in schools, and crime would practically disappear.
A study by the Pew Research Center found that the problems and challenges faced by 1900s moms are related to changes in the lives of women and the evolution of the American family. The researchers questioned 1,101 women, 74 percent of them mothers. Of the total sample, 42 percent were employed full time, 15 percent part time, 21 percent retired and 22 percent not employed outside the home. The study has a margin of error of plus or minus 3 percentage points. According to the survey, moms today feel guilty and thought that their mothers did a better job of parenting and a large proportion of the women favored more-traditional family settings. Only 17 percent said most divorced couples who split custody of their children can do a good job of parenting and fewer than 30 percent said most single mothers, stepmothers and couples in which both parents work full time can do a good job. Despite the guilt and self-recrimination, most mothers said they were mostly satisfied with the job they’re doing raising their children. It is a difficult task working full-time and trying to balance motherhood with other aspects of their lives.
The dramatic growth in single-parent households can have a direct impact on creating a “deadend” on your pilgrimage. The inability for multi-generational network might be a result of: poor family relationships, different modes of family interaction, death of parent, the absence of one-parent, but most often the custodian parent being uncooperative by not allowing the child to be associate with or have information concerning the whereabouts of the estranged parent.
The family understands why you are because you share the same bloodline and experiences. The values and things that are important to you also continue to make you the unique individual that you are. We find that who we are and who we can become depend in great part upon who we started out to be (McAdoo, 1993). The parents are the link to the past and an endless source of wisdom. Being a parent is not easy. Most parents were never trained to be parents, yet being a parent may be the most important job they will ever have. There is a growing need for parents to attend workshops, in employment skills, child care, child development and parent advocacy. During my tenure at the Juvenile Detention Center, I was alarmed to the number of parents who have become seriously disengaged or disconnected from their children’s lives. These same parents are uninvolved with either the sources of social support or as providers of guidance or structure.
We can not expect schools to solve all social problems. This nation is pressuring the public schools to take on duties that are social, political, economical and educational.
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* National Statistics show crime is at an all time high. Families are losing their children to an overcrowded juvenile system which relinquishes parents from their parenting rights. Most states have a “Parens patriae” doctrine which empowers the state to act in behalf of the child and provide protection equivalent to that of a parent. The state becomes the parent and decides what is in the “best interest of the child”. In guardianship and custody proceedings, and in termination of parental rights proceedings, the court shall consider the best interests of the child in accordance with the law. So that, the state becomes the parent, the prison becomes the home, and the inmates and staff become the family.
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*Homosexuality is out of the “closet”. Many households consist of the same sex parenting. After Ellen DeGeneres’ TV character came out of the closet on National television, a teacher at Ansonia H. S., who lives in New Haven, found enough courage to announce she was a lesbian. Gay Rights are increasing and receiving a lot of political support.
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*Single-parenting is as common as the “common cold”. With the increase in divorce and separation, children are being exposed to unstable conditions. At one time, single-parenting meant the mother was the head of the household while the father was allowed visitation rights. Now, it is just the opposite, the fathers are raising their children with little or no support from the mothers. The majority of these single-parent families are maintained by mothers, despite a rise in the number supported by fathers. One distinguishing feature of single-parent families is a large number of children. However, many productive children have excelled in spite of single-parenting. It has been observed for African-Americans, “as income increases the proportion of female-headed families decreases and conversely, male-headed family structures increase” One of the most disastrous results of slavery for the African family was that the slave husband was not the head of the household. Estimates reveal that “one in three Puerto Rican families is headed by a woman” (McAdoo, 1993).
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*Families are literally living out in the streets. Many are suffering from terrible economical conditions by losing jobs, downsizing, poor housing, credit history and the inability to compete efficiently. There is very limited space in shelters for the homeless.
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*Child Abuse and other family-related problems force the state to find other means of parenting for neglected children. They are assigned surrogate parents, or parenting is being provided by some outside agency. There are not enough foster homes to accommodate the children who are in need of care and who were abandoned by their natural parents.
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*The display of valueractices, mostly determined by the way one looks.
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The directive #15 of the U.S. Office of Management and Budget, a document drafted in 1977 that sets racial categories for all federal record keeping, including the U. S. Census, defines blacks as having origins with the black racial groups of Africa, but it defines whites as having origins with original peoples of Europe, the middle East and North Africa, including Egypt. However, in Detroit, a dark-skinned Egyptian immigrant issuing the federal gov identity and family information on both sides. Knowing your parentage is imperative to the success of this curriculum. The students that have lack of knowledge of their heritage would be required to adopt an ethnic perspective and become a member of that particular group. By adopting a family, students will develop the sense of family and start a circle of recovery by healing the wounds of parental disengagement. Hopefully, for those that have experienced poor parenting, they themselves will become good parents.
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The North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service (NCCES), released a publication on “Strengthening Family Relationships.” By achieving these things to a high degree, the journey to a better and successful family. There are many things which contribute to strong family relationships: learning, loyalty, love, laughter, leadership, commitment, appreciation, communication, time together, spiritual wellness, and coping ability. It does not matter whether a particular family is a nuclear family, a step family, a single-parent family or an empty-nest family, it usually consists of related people who care about each other (NCCES).
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Family ethnicity in America has taken on different orientations and configurations. Differences among them are merely the consequence of unique demographic and ancestral backgrounds, cultural histories, ecological processes, and economic origins and statuses. (McAdoo, 1993)
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With America experiencing the immigration waves, we should know the contributions of major ethnics and racial groups, with special emphasis on Black and Hispanics, to the development of the “American Way of Life”. For so long, these two groups have been omitted from history books and they’ve shared the responsibility for the economic growth of this country. But the Black Americans were the only ethnic group brought to this country against their will and they are part of the involuntary minority group. Native American, Puerto Ricans and Chicano are also part of the involuntary minority group because they were conquered. Many other immigrants came to America (the voluntary minority group) with a different mind set, in search for streets “paved in gold”. But what they’d found the streets were not paved at all, and they were expected to pave them.
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Classifying immigrants have been a task for the American government. Historically, there has been a great debate on how the federal government defines racial classification. In your research you will discover the inconsistencies in reporting practices, mostly determined by the way one looks.
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The directive #15 of the U.S. Office of Management and Budget, a document drafted in 1977 that sets racial categories for all federal record keeping, including the U. S. Census, defines blacks as having origins with the black racial groups of Africa, but it defines whites as having origins with original peoples of Europe, the middle East and North Africa, including Egypt. However, in Detroit, a dark-skinned Egyptian immigrant issuing the federal government to change his racial classification from White to Black. He stated the classification based solely on his country of origin, has kept him from seeking jobs, grants, scholarships and loans as a member of a minority group. Even though he’s from Egypt, his ancestry is from the ancient black Kingdom of Nubia, now part of Modern Egypt and Sudan.
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But some Black Americans, being of mixed heritage, are finding it difficult to depend on one race to define their cross-cultural roots. Tiger Woods, the first Black Masters Champion, who refuses to accept the classification of African-American because of his mixed heritage. President Clinton is proposing a bill to deconstruct the notion of race, “The Tiger Woods Bill.” He wants to add a new classification box on forms and Census 2000 called multi-racial. I believe the notion of creating “A New Race” is to satisfy this country’s need to keep Blacks oppressed, not to unite America, or make this a “Color Blind”society. There are very few among us who are pure anything (including the President), ethnic and racial groups have always cross-fertilized. Let’s not destroy or set back the advancement of Affirmative Action and other minority supported programs.
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What is it to be an “American?” The ethnic person has been used as a case study in transcending the complex maze of barriers, pedestals, doors and trap doors that form the boundaries which confine human being to “groups.”
