Gary D. Mikolinski
The family is one of the oldest human social institutions known to man. It has existed for thousands of years. Families cope with pressures put on them by changing to meet new conditions. In these times of rapid social change families will break under the strain unless they explore new ways of living in the world. Change in itself is not bad, but it puts demands upon each family member.
Children are dependent on their parents and, because of their lack of experience and abilities, are subordinate. On the other hand parents are protective and directive. But as adolescence is reached those family roles change. These changes inevitably lead to conflicts. Most teens dislike parental authority, yet are apprehensive about independence. Crises therefore develop for adolescents and adults, perhaps more so for teens because they must interact with adults who are unwilling or unable to adjust to the new situations facing modern families. It is true that teens today live differently than their parents did at the same age. This is not by choice; rather they are trying to cope in the world they were born into.
Teens ponder what and how to think, believe, and behave. They are too often left alone to make decisions. Many choices are made on the basis of peer pressure, propaganda, or submission to parental authority.
We assume that education is a process that will improve the mind regardless of what is happening to the rest of the person. Yet many times what goes on in the classroom is unimportant and irreverent to what is really going on in their lives—problems at home.
Today’s youth, like those of the generations before them share a fundamental human need—to love and be loved.
A recent analysis of the 1996
Coleman Report
of data on 570,000 students in 4,000 schools, reaffirms its central finding that academic achievement depends much more on family background than on what happens in the classroom. This study determined that a family’s lifestyle—its emphasis on education, its economic well being, its child rearing practices and other factors—is likely to have an important effect on the child’s interest in and ability to carry out academic work. (Duvall 1977: pg. 101)
While it is true that some adolescents experience special problems with their parents, it is also true that all adolescents have relationship problems with their parents.
Teens are confronted with so many alternatives in today’s society that they need more guidance than the generations before. We cannot expect our children to cope with the situation without making a conscious effort to help them.
