Barbara K. Smith
When a young married couple established a household they did so with much help from the parents. Sometimes land was given to them by the parents of the young man or it might be part of the same property on which the parents lived. The parents of the young woman provided furnishings and household equipment. Most household linens were made by the bride and her family. These included sheets, blankets, pillow cases, toweling, and table linens. These items took a tremendous amount of time to prepare and were recognized as the woman’s property. The term “portion”, which later became known as a dowry, refers to the property the woman brought with her when she was married. Usually the portion included cooking and serving tools necessary to set up housekeeping. Until the portion was completed, the young couple might stay with either of the families until all the basics were accumulated to start an independent household. Often the parents of the bride would add to the portion with such items as the daughter’s best needlework designs in order to attract a more well-to-do husband. Once the husband and wife were established in their own home, he became the household head and she the manager of all household operations.
Most New Englanders were farmers. This livelihood, in conjunction with the location, seasons and climate dictated the regularity of household chores. Young families were small and chores were many requiring extra help. Hired hands might help the husband with farming. The hired hands would likely be paid in goods produced on the farm, or with credit in a store, but they were also provided with food, clothing and board while employed. Another way of getting help with farm work was to share with other members of the community. That way draught animals and farm equipment could be shared for similar tasks among neighbors.
Young wives also usually needed extra help. Girls from less prosperous families, who were about twelve years old, would often move in with a family to help out with the routine household chores but were especially needed as children were being born. At the time of an actual birth other family or community members would come to assist the new mother. Once the mother and child were stable, however, the new mother would need the girl to stay on. The girl not only helped with household chores but they also helped tend the baby. They were usually assigned the more menial tasks as the wife was still the manager and would want things done in her own particular way. These girls were given small wages for a few personal items, but were also provided with food, clothing and board. Both hired men and hired girls were part of the household and were considered as part of the family.
Families usually grew to be quite large. It was common for a wife to have a child every other year. After a child was born the mother generally would nurse for about a year. It was a routine occurrence to have a new child in the family for many years. As each child was born the siblings were bumped up in their position within the family and eventually they would be taking on responsibilities like those of their parents. The boys worked with their fathers and learned about farming. The fathers, additionally, imparted other skills, like leather crafting, barrel making, tin smithing, etc. This allowed them to exchange their talents for other services within their communities. Their sons would in turn learn these specialties. Almost all, however, were farmers first.
The girls learned from their mothers the many tasks of managing a household. At a very early age they would learn needlework. All young girls were expected to complete samplers which taught them a variety of stitches, as well as how to initial their clothing and household linens. This detailing not only added a personal touch, but also made it easier to separate articles of clothing and linens after laundering. Additionally, drying laundry outdoors might cause items to be blown from the yards during windy days, the initials would allow them to be returned to their rightful owners. Sewing and mending were ongoing tasks in a colonial home. The wife was expected to plan and create all garments for all members of her family, which included the hired help. There were so many components to this task that women learned how to minimize the number of garments they would have to make. Wool and linen were the most common fibers. To produce wool they kept sheep. For linen, flax was harvested. Although the sources for the fibers were very different, the processes of cleaning, sorting, spinning yarn, weaving, dyeing and clothing construction had many similarities. Women developed different specialties. Each knew all the steps from fiber to fabric, but if one was a better spinner and another owned a particular loom, they did exchange some jobs. Although it has been our assumption that colonial families were completely self-sufficient this was not always the case. Even in the early years, families settled in communities that allowed them to help and work with one another.
As families matured, sons and daughters were able to take over some of the work of the hired hands. The hired men would move along to work with other families. The hired girls would return to their families or would start families of their own. The hired girls had been cared for and educated by the families for whom they worked, and they often made strong bonds with the family members, especially older daughters. These bonds were often life long, but the girls were prepared to move out on their own.
If a family faced a tragedy or hardship and a person were to become alone, whether a child or an adult, the extended family would take them in. People cared for one another. The size of families swelled and shrank. Men made provisions for their wives and the community watched out for the children. Elders who were alone would move in with a daughter’s or son’s family. Whoever joined or left the family didn’t change the fact that the man was the head, and his wife the manager, of the household.