Perhaps it is central to democracy to have the push and pulls of creative tension that an artist feels as he creates a masterpiece. Every expression from every known religious group, many nations coming together in a “melting pot”. What moral standards are necessary and are essential in order to have democracy in pluralistic society is the tension. To some individuals who enjoy the shopping center of ideas it is wonderful, to others the questions are threatening and overwhelming. What is outrageous to one group is not out outrageous to another. Yet there is the law, criminal law, striving to bring consensus through many protections under the constitution. The right of all defendants to have an attorney (even if the attorney isn’t very good) for instance. The basic right of all is to have their “day in court”. The defendant is innocent until proven guilty.
Americans are individualistic. The needs of the individual have developed to be ever more demanding and our appetite for pleasure insatiable. Marriages break readily and speedily. Adults are working and youth are parenting each other. It has been said that the adults are exhibiting more teenage qualities than the teenagers. The Oscar Wining movie of this past year American Beauty certainly hinted to us as a culture that this is indeed standard behavior. Women’s roles have changed drastically. The New Age bookshelves are becoming filled with a different morality, heathen. Those who are theologically literate would say that New Age isn’t new at all but a digression to pre Judaic times. What or who fills the vacuum in enculturating the young with the feeling for respect for self and other? Who protects the most precious part of the self, feeling. Feeling not to be confused with impulse or thrill. Are we the generation that refuses to grow up and set limits to our own insanity? The ability respect to self and others where will this ultimately be learned?
According to Kohlberg the teaching of empathy is the key to teaching morality. To “walk a mile in another shoes”, requires imagination. Yet at the same time we know that it is impossible to walk a mile in anchor persons shoes. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” so we have to listen carefully to hear the other. The teaching of accurate empathy is not a simple task. It does requires imagination to solve problems, to mediate, negotiate and develop laws that fulfill the needs of society. If you can empathize with another it is more difficult to use violence to solve problems? Narcissistic individuals, (everywhere they look in the mirror they see themselves), selfish individuals probably have a difficult time with relationships and solving problems.
Americans have traditionally depended on the institution of family reinforced by religious belief, and education to teach right and wrong, to explain good and evil. If these institutions are in disarray, with what do we replace them? If the family is where human beings learn to be human, to regard themselves and others as valuable what replaces it? If the family is the place where the young learn to negotiate and solve problems, what happens when our youth lose these basic life skills? It is apparently very easy to declare no fault divorce, when clearly there is usually fault and responsibility on the part of someone or both. Is fault by choice? Is this the model for our youth, it wasn’t my fault he/she made me do it, automatically placing angry blame on the other. Is a family the first place to learn responsibility for ones self then stretching to the immediate caregivers and then to the world beyond, school?
It is amazing after the no fault divorce on the part of the adults in the marriage the children of divorce, psychologist tell us, that the child feels responsible for the break up of the home. Perhaps because the adults cannot accept their own responsibility? The burdened children, with all of the noise inside from a divorce are asked to carry on in school and produce test scores that meet state standards.
Mischelle Weldon’s experience of abuse was that her husband, the abuser, accepted no responsibility for his feelings and actions. Indeed she was blamed by the abuser. Is it not the powerless position of placing blame outside of one’s self to the other that sabotages the self esteem? Is the abuser striking out at his/her own powerlessness? “The devil made me do it” is as old as mankind, rendering the individual to a irresponsible, powerless, position. Anger is usually the result of frustration at not being heard or valued. Blaming prevents self awareness. Domestic violence is a reality. Domestic violence is caused when either the abused or the abuser commits bodily harm or mental harassment. The control inquiry is used to establish guilt or innocence, insane at the moment of the crime. Impulsive act or deliberated action. Exacting punishment to fit the crime is the result.
Obviously these are only a few simple observations. Our society is constantly examining itself, asking multiple questions few of which can be resolved in one or a few simple solutions. What is the responsibility of the government in personal issues?